Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Well, I am losing confidence. One of the bad things about being a writer is the balance of ego. Try to rest an egg comfortably on a suspended tightrope of dental floss and see how long it stays. It doesn't. The egg tumbles downward, on one side of the line or the other. Writers-- some don't have problems with this but the majority do-- are constantly trying to keep their egos deflated enough to view their work objectively while keeping enough confidence to forge on.

I tend to fall off the side of no confidence. When I am writing, I feel fabulous even when I'm second-guessing my efforts. But, when the last word is written, I feel terrible about it. It won't be bad in the beginning, I swear, but it is after awhile. I find myself comparing my work to other people's-- which isn't a good idea in many circumstances-- and finding it wanting. I used to think I was one of the best writers on the face of the planet. What happened to me?

I dislike egotistical people. It is like watching a rooster crow because the farmer turned on the porch light. Screaming about your superiority is just a glaring reminder of how far you really have to go. (Maybe not just in your profession or craft but in life as well.) If someone is good at something, they should share but there is a huge difference between confidence and being a rooster with a light. Maybe I'm just afraid that I'll be the rooster again if given the chance to be content with my writing.

I don't know if any of you can relate to this but it is driving me crazy. And, with each rejection, my ego deflates further. The funny thing is, I often tell others to keep going on their writing goals but can't seem to find the strength to take my own advice.

Writing for now,



  1. I know another writer who is also feeling quite down, though he isn't rejected by the publishing world...he feels rejected by friends whom he has incorporated into his stories but who don't take the time to read/comment on the stories. So, like I told him: "Whether you feel anyone is listening or not, press on. The world needs you to be who YOU are, even if right now it doesn't seem like we are responding." Press toward the goal to obtain the prize, and don't be afraid to be a little confident now and then. Confidence, after all, is respected in the world.

  2. Greetings TDK,

    Maybe the writer's friends just don't see how important it is to him. It is often human nature to get all wound up in goals and life without really knowing a friend could use a lift. This, I find, is sad. But we've all been guilty of it in one way or another some just try to be more aware and sympathetic than others.

    Your writer friend should try to find other writers to bounce his ideas off of. Maybe his friends dislike the fact that they're portrayed in his stories. (Some people find characterizations inaccurate and get angry or embarrassed to be mentioned in that way.) Writing about others is always tricky, even if it is favorable. Good luck to your writer friend on this.

    I know confidence is respected and people around me normally wouldn't expect me to have difficulty with such an issue! Almost everyone who has even a passing knowledge of me personally believes I am confident, extroverted, etc. It may be only that I need to fool myself to carry on that I am this way. I can't say for sure.

    Thank you,