Monday, July 12, 2010

When Poetry (or Poet) Goes Wrong

This post, probably unnecessarily, is going to highlight how much work I have left to do on my writing. I will post one of my WIPs (Works In Progress) and show you in a subsequent post how I intend to fix it. I don't even know if it WILL be a decent poem at the end of this and it may just stay in the scrap pile forever but we shall see. ***Anyone who has constructive criticism about it should give it. I am not loving this poem right now and know it needs help.***

Infidelity from the Fence

Ticking, a fingernail on glass
Impatiently counting every second
Spilling from a bounteous bucket
Of moments sloshing against
Sides slick now with pain, hope, pride
Tangos like sticky webbing in air
Wrapping in on itself, a disturbing
Blanket enfolding in warmth so heated
It begins to burn
Fingernails tapping on glass
Impatient yet waiting in quiet seconds
Spilling thoughts like a toddler's juice
Moments filled with pain, stale love
Cigarette fog and pillow talk
A burning blanket of desire turns to ash
Left untended in chill morning air
Is blown by wind

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