Thursday, May 14, 2015

Of Fears and Trying

This year is almost half over.  But, for me, the rough stuff is just beginning. 

Starting in August, I will be going through medical appointments and tests… again.  I often hope for a diagnosis for all the things I am going through but dread it as well.  I am positive it isn’t one, central issue but several.  I have put certain things off until I can’t anymore.  I’m just so tired of going through this.

Medical issues aside, I am aiming at some of my fears this year.  I am going to be entering another chapbook next month.  I want to present an idea for an online workshop in a conference setting with me as the instructor (I’m not sure I’m qualified enough as a poet, but we’ll see).  And, by year’s end, I will have some form of audio on Youtube (me singing, reciting poems, etc). 

I could sit forever, petting my fear and letting it curl up tighter in my lap, digging in.  I won’t.  At least, I hope I won’t. 

Maybe I’ve been so darn unhappy with my career/progress because I let my reservations and fears KEEP me from seeing progress.  The only way to know is to try.

So, here’s to it… trying… failing… the whole damn thing…  

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